Darkness

IN THE DARK
By Alex Ness
January 18, 2023

HORRIBLE NEWS FOR ME

My sister died in January 2022. I lost a number of good if not my very best friends, during the year, and now I've lost my brother on December 30. I will never stop mourning them. My brother had an adventurous life, like everyone was not always happy or successful, but with his union with his wife Diane, he'd suddenly had more to live for than ever before, a new set of people he loved who were his new children and when those newcomers to his world arrived, with grandchildren, his life turned from a struggle, and difficult, to happiness and complete.

Whatever I experienced and witnessed, from the outside, I saw a man who'd overcome challenges, difficult experiences, and disappointment, discover something greater than his own life, a life with love, a life with a family he adored, and completed, with  his heart being overfull with the glory of love, innocence of grandchildren, and a completion of a life quest, with victory. We lost him too soon, but from the beginning of my  experience, he was my first hero, my defender, my knight. I was his Tonto to his Lone Ranger, his Robin, to his Batman. 

I know that I can never receive a new brother to  replace him, but I am grateful from my lost beloved sister I have her husband and my brother in law Steve, and I have my DNA blood sibling brother Nate. They are all I have left, but God granted me more love, more help to get through, than some people would get in a dozen lives.

My brother, for all his flaws, wanted to see the people he loved succeed, he was generous, talented in his chosen crafts, and someone who was filled with stories, jokes, and personal viewpoints that were nearly unique, and worth remembering. I will forever remember him, and my sister Denise who passed in January of 2022. My personal loss is great. But others have lost as much, and I grieve with them for someone who was a true character.  One unique in ways, and adventurous and wild in others. My sister in law Diane was a catalyst in my brother finding love, fulfillment, and happiness. Whatever else in terms of wealth, fame, great and deep discoveries, what my brother found was love and true happiness, and for that, I am grateful to her.

INTO THE DARKNESS (written in November before the new darkness struck)

I was recently asked why as a Historian (with a master's degree) with a minor field of Political Science, I am so silly in my personal humor (fart jokes) and so frivolous (comics, fantasy, science fiction and more, RPG games) in my taste. I was asked, almost simultaneously, by someone else, who reads my various blogs and most of my books, why my writing is so dark. Sigh... I'm not that big of a mystery or dichotomy as humans go. But I am emotional and have experienced darkness, so I should suggest, perhaps I am possessed of a sense of humor that is extreme or silly, because it allows me to poke fun at the world that otherwise is so hungry for my soul. Some of who I am comes from childhood experiences where certain things that aren't evil or bad were off limits subjects and speaking about them or joking about them feels liberating. And as far as taste in terms of genres I enjoy, or kinds of media I enjoy, I just refuse to grow out of things I enjoy, and I might also suggest, they, too, are liberating for a person who has had dark experiences and would prefer to escape than engage.

However, it is true that I absolutely do engage the darkness and serious world. In fact, I deal with subjects from a range of interests, but also experiences that feed my world view. And in my creative writing I bleed ink and transparent honesty. I am a reflective poet, who uses the history and political science training as well as my life experiences to express myself. I surely know some of the subjects I write about are thought dark.

My mom had not fully been lost to Alzheimer's when my first book came out. She tried reading it, and had tears in her eyes and said this is so depressing it is terrible, I don't think anyone would ever want to read such a book. But, mercifully 2 years later when she had no real memory, read it and said it was beautiful. I think her desire for me to write something she'd have bought was behind her original view of it. Some friends hearing how her first experience went felt bad for me, but as I've written elsewhere, she came from a very hard early life and that she and my father ended up with a success story, a family where no one went hungry, a home was owned, parents helped me get through college, and my brother has been a successful manager in transport. They did far better than their own family, and never spent a nickel unless it had a direct purpose. My being a poet, who would not sell a lot of books, was the absolute worst result, to her, of my expensive education. That she wanted the best for me, and Alzheimer's let her feel happy for me over her original sadness, in my first book, is a blessing, however dark.

In person, I've been told I am quiet, or serious or kind of dark. Well, I am 6'4", I wear black clothes, and as an introvert I probably prefer to be alone with my wife or son, or even just with my cats. (My beloved Katya has been on my desk grabbing my wrist as I type). But if I am asked my opinion, unless being honest would cause a shitstorm that no one wants, I do tell people exactly what I think. Some people hate that about me. Oh well. So, maybe I am the tall quiet and intense looking guy. I am more loyal to friends and loved ones than anyone knows. So, yes I do have serious and dark outlooks, and at the same time I refuse to look at comics or any medium as frivolous. I refuse to give up anything I love because other people don't dig them like I do. I am deeply loyal. I write darkly perhaps, but I am also as honest as you will find, regarding my work. Perhaps I do live with some lies about my own worth. I don't think that would be altogether unusual. I think we all hope to be talented, loved or at least liked, and we probably entertain some level of falsehood regarding our own deeper self.

BACK ISSUES BONANZA

There are a literal ton of comics that I've read, shared, sold.  Some are worth keeping, but others you find for 50¢ a each, and you catch up on what you missed or start over.  Sometimes it works, other times... not so much.

LEGION OF SUPERHEROES 1984 Baxter version

As I was waiting for my son to buy a sh^t ton of Star Wars figures I found the first four issues of the Legion of Superheroes, and thought, I remember liking these, I wonder if they are still awesome.  OH hell yes they were good. Even great. It could be confusing for non fans, but I was never that. So reading these was such a joy. Paul Levitz and Keith Giffen made a fine creative team. Levitz probably rests comfortably in my favorite writers list, and Giffen has so many styles and great work, at the very least I really like his work, if not love it.

NARCOPOLIS

I try to mention the work of Jamie Delano whenever I can, I think he is a particularly gifted writer, with a great writer's ability of characters, tone, pacing, and imaginative world building. In Narcopolis he demonstrates all of that, and is complimented nicely by the artist Jeremy Rock. It features the lives of people in a society where there are far too options in the field of drugs to escape reality, in a world where the governing aspect of society is harsh, invades privacy and uses terrible means to infiltrate one's sovereign being. Rather than suggest drugs are the answer, the suggestion is that their use comes from a response needed to an oppressive society. A rather apt similarity to the present state of affairs. I saw this for $5, bought it again (I bought it when it first came out, read it numerous times at the time), and gave it, after reading it again, to a thoughtful non-comic reader, who is now begging me for more free stuff. If only the publisher Avatar Press would release it as tpb.

SHADE THE CHANGING MAN

Shade the Changing Man was originally a work by Steve Ditko, and it was quite an unusual read, but it was one I deeply enjoyed. I recently found 8 issues of the series of the same name from DC/Vertigo, for $2 and I had to think for a while, about how I thought of the experience. I didn't enjoy the individual  stories a great deal, but despite the writing, it had truly great art by Chris Bachalo. The stories, however well served by that art, weren't truly engaging, and I thought they rather stole the name of Ditko's original series without capturing the essence of his character or the universe it was set in. That isn't always a bad thing, and I think it can give a new and interesting perspective when that sort of thing is done well.  I am sure other people enjoyed it more than I do now, or did back when, but for 2 bucks I didn't get much bang for my buck.

WEIRD WAR

For two dollars, I was able to read some wildly dark and enjoyable stories from DC/Vertigo.  Their take on Weird War Tales, an awesome comic about war from the 60s and 70s, is worth buying, if not for the covers, which are amazing, or stories, by them for the art, which is freaking amazing.

MOVIES I LOVE

I've written about the movies I love before, and why I like what I like. My love of film didn't begin from my views being shared on screen, or having similar taste to those in the world of film. I developed my love of film in general and for those depicted below that I especially love from time spent with my mother, and brother, growing up. My brother was a hero to me, and I could not have been as generous as he was with me, with his friends, with his interests and tastes, and with his time. I was his sidekick, he was the hero.

With my mother, it was the time spent with her in general, and specifically, it was rewarding in the realm of her explaining the more mature films from the 40s and 50s that she enjoyed. So, even though I think the greatest portion of loving a film is figuring out the various parts that make it work, at the age of 7-14 she was able to tell me what a person without the maturity of age would have known. And since her taste was rather good and serious rather than frivolous and meaningless, I understood black and white films from her era like someone from her era. Many adults I know say they have kids who can't appreciate black and white or especially old films. I watched b/w films on b/w televisions and my mother would have helped me get why the film I was watching was so good. She also highly influenced my favorite actors and directors...

And my favorite creative talents in categories of actress, actor and directors.

REVIEW POLICY
I can be found on Facebook, Twitter or through email Alexanderness63@gmail.com. I do accept hard copies, so when you contact me/inquire at any of these places, I'll follow through by telling you my street address. If you send hard copies for review I will always review them, but if you prefer to send pdf or ebooks to my email, I will review these at my discretion. I don't share my pdf/ebooks, so you can avoid worry that I'd dispense them for free to others.



My Creative Blogs:


My 5000 poem Blog AlexNessPoetry.Blogspot.Com

Cthulhu Alien Horrors CthulhuDarkness.Blogspot.Com

Atlantis & Lost Worlds AlexNessLostWorlds.Blogspot.Com


My Books and Sets for Sale:

My Published Work  AlexNessPoetry.Blogspot.Com/2007/01/My-Work.html

My Amazon Author Page Amazon.com/author/AlexNess

Support: Poplitiko.Blogspot.Com/2022/06/for-sale.html 

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