As life moves forward in the pandemic, the ocean of obituaries lose their power

THE DEAD ARE NOW BUT ASHES IN WIND

By Alex Ness
January 22, 2021

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Edith Piaf sang a song that makes me cry with every listen.  She was a cute and tiny little French woman with an enormously powerful voice and spirit.  She'd been searching for a song that she'd be identified with, as well as one that would also be the same to the French people.  The music and lyrics came from two people who she considered to have bothered her in the past. As they tried having her listen to their songs, and hoped she'd love the songs and popularize them, she was aloof.  Somehow though, the song would make all three of them famous, and for the time, wealthy. 

She wasn't interested immediately. She thought of them as at the least unimportant, and highly annoying to presume to take any of her time. So she made them wait, and finally after coffee and cigarettes and perhaps toast, she came out from her breakfast or snack, and said ok, what have you for me to hear? They played Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien, which in English is No, I do not regret a single thing, nothing.  As it plays there is a power that builds, and over the course of the song you can feel this woman emoting for everyone who dares listen, and she tells them, in this life you do not get to replace once in a lifetime opportunities, you have now, and nothing else is promised to you. And while nothing is promised, the future remains unwritten. 

The song, soon after release became popular and famous, was adopted by a cadre of French Legionnaires who had attempted a coup. They had wanted the affair of  French Algeria to be settled or fought in the manner they wished. The choices made backfired and they failed in their attempt to create a change in policy or even change in leadership. Upon marching out from their barracks under guarding troops watchful eyes, the Legionnaires whistled, hummed and sang this amazing song. And for that I am moved beyond normal. Listen to it yourself.

I am writing this piece because 2 of the last 3 pieces have been obituaries.  In this stressed and worrisome world of pandemics, riots, accusations, fallen heroes, crushed hopes, and hurt, the single death of a person is no longer a shock.  It does not matter the violence or the passive feint heartbeat that ends.  A neck kneed upon, or a AR-15 brought to a riot in the making, death has become a simple, normal thing. Except that, it shouldn't, ever become so.  YES we all die. Yes I talk about death a lot, it is an important thing. But, we should never be so unmoved because of volume.

I received a couple really snarky not angry but maybe pissy is the right term, emails/comments. "How did you become Mark Evanier, all you post is obits, which are the reason I stopped reading him, well those obits and his anti-Trump hysteria." This note didn't/doesn't hurt me, as comparing me to a great writer and encyclopedia of entertainment world stories Mark Evanier is a very complimentary thing. I like him quite a great deal, and love his stories of life in the trenches of comics and cartoons. I'm not politically inclined, despite being very interested in the process. So, his focus might not work for me when he goes in that direction.  "Obituary freaks like you should go and cry in a corner". I've heard this before. I think I said similar things when young. I wasn't a jerk necessarily, and I'd never complain to someone about what they right, I don't care enough to worry. But, when I was young I thought what is the big deal, people get old, or sick, they die, then I die and then it starts over for the next people. 

That is, until my dad died in 1998, but that year was so manic and weird, I lost my dad but enhanced my master's degree, I had a gallbladder removed, three teeth needing surgery and removal, but at the end of the year, wife Beth and I welcomed my son to our life. Because of the speed of life, and the confusion that brings, this loss didn't sting me as much as it otherwise might have. But then in 2009 a best friend, Guy Morey died of brain cancer. In 2010 very good friend and great supporter of my work Alan Coil died of a massive heart attack. In 2012 my mother died, and I still mourn her.  In 2013 I was fired from projects on the very same day I learned I had cancer. And in 2014 in August, I was declared cancer free, on the very same day I lost another best friend, my wife's best friend too, Cathy Roberts. I began understanding loss, from numerous perspectives. Losing my mom meant never hearing her voice again or talking to her.  Losing Guy meant that the world lost an enormously bright and talented artist, forever.  Losing Alan I lost the guy who bought multiple books to share with others to make sure I had sales right away.  And losing Cathy on my cancer free declaration day? I despised myself that I was still here and this beautiful and smart, passionate person had killed herself.  When we lose people we don't, EVER get them back.  And the wounds don't heal, you just learn to live with the pain.  In the last month many names have been posted in the various obituaries of newspapers and news sites.  Most you read about, due to them being on a large site are famous names. For every one recognizable name, you don't see the many hundreds who passed from view without notice.  

The image above shows four books featuring some major people of importance who've we lost. Hank Aaron broke Babe Ruth's seemingly untouchable record. Prior to his home run breaking hit I'd read a book for kids, about the great stars of baseball and one of the books said, The Babe is likely safe in his grave knowing no one will ever break his record. It was honestly thought by most fans and execs in baseball to be an impossible record to equal. But Aaron did even more, as he surpassed it. All the while with death threats and hate mail towards him, as well, his wife and family need body guards and protection, for he took his bat and changed the course of history. Julie Strain was an impressive looking woman, muscular, tall, beautiful, she became a scream queen of movies made with somewhat limited budgets. She was determined, dogged in her pursuit of fame. Samuel Little killed almost 100 people, and perhaps did. He is not famous, rather, he is infamous, not deserving of accolades, only venom.

Then there is Phil Spector.  He had enormous talents for making music, he could truly be considered a musical genius.  He had made stars out of numerous people, but the fickle rewards of fame faded, and in his isolation he became paranoid, and violent, controlling and spiteful. He'd been the most sought out producer of music, and he wrote dozens of the most popular music of his day.  But he became trusting only in violence and owning guns. And people who came into his life were in danger.  One woman was killed, Lana Clarkson, a talented woman who was on the descent portion of a star's life.  Perhaps she wanted the fame that Spector could give, but he wanted more than fame, he wanted to be a god, and he took her life. Covid, the miserable virus that cast our world into darkness killed Spector and so many more.  I think very little could have changed our trajectory regarding losses whoever had been president, but, that doesn't make Covid any more or any less tragic. I write that the way I did, because it is the simple truth, we have a situation and whoever is in charge, we've got a terrible creature in our midst and it is dangerous, hateful, and will take down the weak, the elders and compromised of immune systems.  So live like you will never have a chance again to express yourself, to love, laugh, cry, live like you can't bear the thought of regret, so you live every moment with the most immense amount of agency.  Be the person who does the things that you read about and say to yourself, that person knows how to live. Lana Clarkson should be alive, and so I don't regret what Covid took with the genius Spector. I regret the loss of Lana, and all others who had abuse or violent acts against them.

AS AMERICA BURNS MANY WONDER WHY...

As a person who has tried to study the history of my world, the way people exchange and trade for power or safety, I've been reading a lot when able.  I might not always have the focus required, but I love feeding my brain.  The four books shown give a quick tour of the world we've created since the peak of American culture, the 1950s. America has many great aspects of its character. It has been generous, it has been forthright and honest about her beliefs and goals of gathering wealth and building a great life for all who participate.  For most Americans capitalism is a religion, with all of the aspects of a religion laid bare to any who study it.

TECHNOPOLY by Neil Postman

We've become addicted to technology, in ways no one can escape. But more than that, we want and choose the addiction our own selves.  No need for a pusher or a seller of an illicit and illegal product.  We invite this into our lives, and slowly we've become without an ability to appreciate life outside of the orbit, of the blessed technology.  Remember when cars could play 8 track tapes or cassettes, and then holy God of Tech, we could play CDs! Well cars, most of them, no longer have CD players, people have a stream of music they bring in the car with gadgets.  People don't just talk on phones, they now shoot silly friend videos, record terrible events, send images of concerts, and so much more.  We interface with the world every day, with our gadgets, and they've been designed to have an early obsolescence, where an item is meant to be seen, like so many other aspects of consumerist culture, a trash item, a worthless token of our epic breakneck speed life. This throw away culture breeds throw away minded citizens.  Sooner, than later, they'll throw away their freedoms and ideals for new gadgets and things that are shiny and make noise.

THE IMAGE by Daniel J. Boorstin

Written around the time of the Nixon Kennedy televised debate prior to the 1960, Boorstin had worried what the effect of image and moving and talking figures would have to the general audience.  He did research, but more to the point of his central thesis, he knew that Kennedy Nixon on television had been perceived by viewers as a crushing blow to Nixon. But for those with only the radio, most listener only voters thought it had been an even match. Boorstin constructed from his fears and thoughts a paradigm where he asked, how does charisma in a modern world affect voter behavior and American leadership.
We choose leaders who are slick and promise things, that they have no ability to produce. And once in office we are satisfied by their glib answers, their beauty and charm, their charisma. We'll take a man, (usually) who is untested, but is popular. We'll take someone who is a man of action, rather than a passive scholarly old dude with glasses. The phrase in the past was, the Man on the Horse, often a military man of some talent, who seizes power, without actually seeming to seize it.  Offered the crown they'll point to the crowd, they'll say, I'll accept this honor only if the people say I must.  And they'll be anointed King, or the Emperor, with a smile and the only worrying thing we can see, is that he is just as vapid and empty as we are, and we'll applaud even louder so the crowd noise will chant, in unison, four more years, four more years, or lock him or her up.

THE CLOSING OF THE AMERICAN MIND by Allan Bloom

Some reviewers thought that this book was an anathema to the American way. We were losing our path, and Bloom said we need to go back to the books and realize where we came from. And in the past universities did teach in a hard impact form of a central core of literature, music, philosophy, and arts.  Various smart ass or innocently clever students have said, I'm going to be a cook, or a hair stylist, an auto mechanic, or a farmer, why the hell do I need to know who Beowulf was or what he did? Or even more to the point, how do you think I'll use or have need of Algebra when counting my tips, or buying a new coffee pot for the office? The hope was that every graduate and most of those who might get close would have, by exposure and courses, become culturally literate. But our teachers even as well as those students have seen how slow the classics feel, and how fake they seem to be, and how old and ancient the values in them are, how we perceive that they don't fit in the modern world we've created.  So over time the schools and that extends to many high schools too, schools began to allow the students to decide what they needed to study, so that they could become culturally literate.  You saw in the comic book publishing world writers who were highly competent in creating fun stories, but you began to wonder, have some of these writers and artists ever read or studied anything but comics?  Specialized training is great, but what kind of weakness are we developing, allowing the patient to decide the care given by a doctor?  Bloom saw America becoming nihilistic rather than broad minded and hopeful.  He feared that without a knowledge of the past and the foundations of our culture, we'd weave from side to side.

THE CULTURE OF NARCISSISM by Christopher Lasch

According to Lasch, America has pursued a path of, if not a goal of, pathological narcissism.  This is found, in his view, schools but also in the family as well as business and the workplace.  It should be obvious that capitalism has a dark side as well as the financial and creative desire to achieve success, of one's own goals.  Such a success based society and pure individualism rewards people with the treasures they seek, and pure narcissism and self centered goals can be viewed as prevalent from youth to elder, from weakest to the strong. Remember Wall Street? and the famous quote "Greed is good." Across the nation you can find people who can perform tasks in their preferred field well, but when found outside their areas? They had no interest so they've had no exposure.

The result of a lack of exposure to ideas is how naive and limited otherwise intelligent people can be.  Some think the Civil War was between America and Canada, or that the US was originally located someplace else and the survivors of a great disaster moved here from wherever that place is.  Some of these people will tell you that France is on the East coast of the US, maybe an island. Or you'll hear an executive officer of a business ask why the postage to Japan is so expensive, it is just another state like Hawaii or California. And when they say this in a meeting, no one corrects them, it just becomes quiet and uncomfortable, as those who actually know what or where Japan is, don't want to lose their job, so they remain silent.* Silence means we never learn, we never challenge the flaws, because we all want that beautiful house a dream of luxury and wealth. The Nihilist worldview is toxic. Narcissistic parents raise similar children. And sooner or later we will have changed our outlook to something even more dangerous.  Narcissistic parents and children and society will evolve (or devolve) into something called Solipsism. It is a world view that proposes that the only thing that matters is you, where the only thing that is real is what you are experiencing. It is the opposite of feeling empathy for another person's struggle or pain. It is the opposite of the mantra that greed is good, because it isn't true that when all men and women pursue their own goals moral goodness follows.  In fact ask anyone from the Belgian Congo how fun it was pursuing their master's greed based goals? 

* These are factual examples of crazy things I've heard or witnessed as a teacher and worker in various levels of education.

GREAT YOUTUBE CHANNELS TO WATCH

JCS - CRIMINAL PSYCHOLOGY Of the offerings of channels to peruse, this channel is I think the best in quality.  However, it is not the most likely to be as popular since it is very long serious essays about the criminal mind and how to view it.  I am moved greatly by the quality and have never clicked off any story I began, but, some of the content is either too high minded, or too dark for some. However, if you are bright and like the dark, this one is great.

LEMMINO: This channel is a fun combination of top ten lists, long form considerations of esoteric ideas, secret knowledge and fun facts.  I like this site for the clear minded serious ideas put forth, and the seeming innocence of the narrator.  He hits the near perfect mark for clarity of voice and interesting ideas.

ESKIFY: Eskify is a seemingly ordinary gathering of interesting ideas, slick delivery, and weird fun humor.  It is truly informative in ways most top ten list channels can't even perceive. I find the narrator to be quite a character. The offerings are interesting, silly sometimes at just the right moment but always worth watching. Ancient castles or doorways to hell along side of dark silent movies or worst dictators makes this a dark entry, but the narrator's glib comments make it more silly than scary, in just the right amounts.

HOCHELAGA: I am deeply interested in mysteries of the past, as well as theological ideas that have resisted modern thought.  This channel focuses somewhat narrowly but with far more intelligent analysis than most others I've encountered.With many narrated works on youtube it can require some thought and focus to imagine some of the things discussed, but this channel's narrator is a very compassionate, thoughtful and earnest sounding reader/speaker.

LEGENDS OF HISTORY: The human past, mysteries, gods, mythology, and more, wrapped up in serious descriptions.  I think it is slightly off course with the name, but only because I don't see tons of war videos or political events.  The videos here focus on the beliefs of ancient and medieval people, the fears and dreams they have, and what lays at the heart of the belief systems and myths of humans. I like it a lot.

AND FINALLY

No, I have not returned fully to writing for various sites.  I had to take a great many meds today and when I finally was in less pain I said, I am going to write.  

I have been asked by people if I'd review their work, and sure I will.  But I prefer hard copies to digital and can't promise reviews of things like porn or various video games that I'd never try if I weren't being asked to do so.  However, books, comics, games, and stuff in general, yeah, I'll consider that.

ABOUT GETTING REVIEWS FROM ME

First off, I can be found on Facebook, Twitter or through email at Alexanderness63@gmail.com. I accept hard copies, so when you inquire at any of these places, I'll follow through by telling you my street address. I no longer have a post box, although I regret that.  It was a crushing defeat to no longer have a p.o. box, when I came to realize I was getting so little product it made no sense to pay for the privilege to not receive mail at both my home and at the post office. If you send hard copies for review I will always review them, but if you prefer to send pdf or ebooks to my email, I will review these at my discretion. I don't share my pdf/ebooks, so you can avoid worry that I'd dispense them for free to others.

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Jean de La Bruyère "Life is a tragedy for those who feel, and a comedy for those who think".