Holiday Rituals and Gift Ideas

END OF THE YEAR: Rituals and Gifts
By Alex Ness
December 7, 2021

RITUALS I DO FOLLOW TO END THE YEAR

As I have a couple college degrees in history and try to write about the past, people often assume I am someone who elaborately celebrates and creates rituals during holiday seasons to remember the past. I understand why they might think that, but contrary to this line of thinking, I don't do that. It might seem logical and something a person who tries to know the history of human kind would do, I've a rather different way of dealing with life, the past, and holidays. Being adopted at birth and not knowing my history did affect my desire to know history and to know answers to life's questions. At the same time, I was not bitter about life's origins, as I can't blame or assume if I didn't know. I had two very stern and perfectionist parents by adoption, and they dominated my early life. My DNA family and particular life circumstance were a mystery, however, my parents from day one let me know I was adopted, and while I didn't have the answers about my secret origins, it didn't burn in me to know answers specifically.

History for me was a tool to learn and a doorway to understand all of life's issues from the perspective of here is what humans do, and perhaps this is the reason why they do it. Not a study of minutia, but of the broad themes and events so that a big picture can be seen and understood. Additionally, while people assume a historian would dwell in the era of study, I don't dive so deep that I enter a mindset or outlook that includes entering that time, in any way other than scholarly. For instance, I love learning about Feudal Japan, but I don't go to events or conventions in Samurai costume, and I don't own a sword from that era. I celebrate the past in certain ways, but I see the human past as a period of time when we knew less, and behaved less wisely because we weren't able to know all we know now. The duration of our species' time on earth is less interesting to me to know details, as it is to know what contributed from any specific moment in time to our lives today. I do celebrate the holidays and end of the year with three rituals, and formerly did four or five.

I watch the Army Navy Game of college football. It is a way to celebrate those who have dedicated their life to defending the country. They represent the future and the accomplishments of the men and women of the military academies and is often a spirited exciting game. My way of getting into it is to wear my US Army t-shirt for one half, and my US Navy hat for the second half. I don't actually care who wins, it is the epitome of celebrating those who serve, rather than a desire to side with the victorious team.

I watch the movie A Christmas Story. It is set in the late 30s or early 40s and has a charm about it. The film story and cast, reminds me of my father, because the movie father was a grumpy man who loved his kids, imperfectly, but secretly he shows his love at Christmas by making Santa's work easier by giving something special. My father wasn't known for extravagance and spending. At Christmas he took an active role in trying to make my brother and I happy. Someone I love referred to my father as a stern man, another called him cheap, but he wasn't cheap. Cheap implies someone choosing poor quality over good quality simply due to cost. He was born in 1929, so he understood the cause for thrift, and he lived in the era of the Great Depression. So rather than flood us year round, he chose the end of the year holidays to express himself.

Last on my list I try to hand write and send 5 cards to family and friends. I used to write many more people, but, my handwriting has declined and people either didn't appreciate my effort, or worse, complained about the handwriting. I aimed at those who I might not see during the year, but I appreciate their presence in my life, wherever they live. 

And then there are the rituals for me at the end of the year that have become far less frequent. One was the making of Clam Chowder for either the Christmas Eve buffet that I used to try to do, or for Christmas day. However, with my inability to gather with family or friends for most of two decades, due to health issues and life events, I fell out of that ritual or even doing it in general. As my parents are gone and my health is usually bad,  I am rarely able to attend gatherings. (Without detail, I have a need to be near a restroom if I eat. The condition has a name, but people usually don't realize how difficult it can be. It happens to people most often after having had their gallbladder removed).

I did also try to give "Secret Santa" gifts by surprise through the mail to people, but it cost money, various people either didn't acknowledge it, let alone say thanks, and it became a painful reminder to me that whatever my desire to share meant to me, others weren't interested. On facebook one year I sent out 5 of these secret packages via mail, and two of the recipients deleted me shortly after receiving them. I don't know the reason for each, it might have been for a myriad of actual reasons, but whatever the cause, it hurt. For good reason, cost, effort, time and result, I am going to limit this in the future.

IDEAS FOR THINGS TO GIVE AND RECEIVE

End of the year holidays often bring results and final tallies, after months of planning and action.  When the year is ended and a new one is slotted to begin, we have a month of various cultural celebrations, religious and non-religious, and often there comes an exchange of gifts. I have more things in my office than I can read, and more than I can watch, and more than I can listen to. So this is a suggested list of items, that I think would be great, but don't buy them for me.

Jeffrey Catherine Jones paintings move me, and there are books featuring her art. In recent times her excellent work has been forgotten due to the more tasty gossip about her being a transgender person. Her paintings, though, capture innocence, adventure, wild beauty and grace.  She was brilliantly talented, but her life was both a triumph and tragedy.  She was a friend and I truly miss our semi-daily emails.

I've written about Faeries and Elves, and King Arthur legends and myths. These books are deeply woven in their lore, and I find each book to be magnificent. Edmund Spenser wrote using myth and legend to tell the greatness of Queen Elisabeth I (7 September 1533-24 March 1603). Similarly Shakespeare wrote in a time when the perceived era of myth and legend were closer to the time of the writer's life. His style of writing is a perfect match to the subject. Lord Dunsany is a big favorite of mine, and he writes from a place of reverence for the material, a whimsy and wit, but some find his work too archaic. Well his writing is brilliant, intricate and elaborate as well. The Ancient Art of Faery Magick is a wonderful work that any fan of the subject would enjoy.

Nausicaa is the first Manga I loved, and the story is about a heroic princess, who flies across the Valley of the Wind. In Manga the story is well detailed and perfect. In Anime not as perfect. But perhaps I haven't seen the Japanese language version in far too long.

Seven Samurai, Woman in the Dunes and Gojira are wonderful works for their era, and well beyond.  While they are in black and white, each is intense, well made, and stands up to the works when looked at with a modern eye. Akira Kurosawa was a fantastic talent and his epic Seven Samurai was a classic.  Kobo Abe's Woman in the Dunes was a book beyond compare, and the movie captures the intensity of the story content with a deep disturbing match of need and despair.  And you know what I think of Gojira.  I've spoken of the series and characters often. Gojira is my spirit animal.

About Getting Reviews from Me

First off, I can be found on Facebook, Twitter or through email at Alexanderness63@gmail.com. I accept hard copies, so when you inquire at any of these places, I'll follow through by telling you my street address. I no longer have a post box, although I regret that.  It was a crushing defeat to no longer have a p.o. box, when I came to realize I was getting so little product it made no sense to pay for the privilege to not receive mail at both my home and at the post office. If you send hard copies for review I will always review them, but if you prefer to send pdf or ebooks to my email, I will review these at my discretion. I don't share my pdf/ebooks, so you can avoid worry that I'd dispense them for free to others.

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Lovecraft Styled Horror CthulhuDarkness.Blogspot.Com
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Final note: Please remember, there is no such thing as wild or tame. Every animal in the wild can be your pet, so long as you don't mind the bite marks, claw marks, the bleeding, the loss of limbs, poisoned wounds and instant death.