My Musical Journey
By Alex Ness
August 25, 2023
INTRO: I am losing my memory rather quickly. It might mean something awful, or a recoverable health issue that was caused by having covid three times. Or it might mean I have something far worse. I am not going to give a blow by blow account of my decay. If it is one thing, I won't keep writing, I won't be able to do so. If it is another, I won't be able for a different reason. In any event, you'll find out here.
1967 or thereabouts The scene is Port Edwards, a small paper mill town next to another but bigger paper mill town, Wisconsin Rapids, 1966.
This is isn't, because it can't be, be a year by year account. I've little to remember from the earliest times, while I liked music, I wasn't altogether unique in taste, for a kid born in 1963, I liked mostly what I was allowed to listen to.
Mostly, the earliest times I remember, I was listening to music at night before my brother and I would fall asleep
in the second floor shared bedroom of our modest home in the middle of Wisconsin. The local station WWRW (now /WGLX-FM) would play contemporary hits, and
my mom would come up and turn off the music when we were asleep. But I
waited for her her to come upstairs and creep into our room. She'd turn
off the radio, and I knew she was still awake. I was comforted by her
there, I knew we weren't alone when we fell asleep.
Mostly though, what I remember about music pales in comparison to the stories, mostly fables, my story telling brother would tell me about his adventures with his friends. They were far better than the reality I am sure. And I was comforted by the sound of the nightly train going by and rumbling and whistling. It sounded like my mother's heart beating, in a way. I remember my brother and I had a record album that had all the theme songs to superheroes on tv and radio. I remember the album by the Royal Guardsmen of Snoopy versus the Red Baron. But there wasn't music I remember well, as in, affectionately.
Well, except, ... one hot as hell summer mid day, I was getting undressed from church, and it was so hot it was going slow, and we heard a song at church How Great Thou Art, that spoke of hearing God's voice in the rumble of the thunder of storms. It'd been sung that day, and whether I was 4 years old or not, and in my underwear or not, the summer afternoon offered hope as I now loudly heard the thunder of an approaching storm, with jet black clouds forming. I thought to myself, I am hearing God. And it moved me spiritually. The rain storm was huge, and it would drop the temps from miserably hot and sticky, to refreshingly cool and gently warm. It was a spiritual moment in song.
1972 I discovered Cat Stevens, and my world was instantly cool and musically beautiful. His stories and songs spoke of a day of victory, an elder's memories, hope for the future, wonders about the reasons for this life. And I found in his words a search for meaning, a desire to know the answers to eternal questions, thoughts about who we are compared to the great mystery of life. And I understood what he was seeking. I was also seeking.
1975 I liked a lot of stuff but not enough to buy it. I liked country rock, I liked pop, I liked classical and opera (yes, really) and folk rock. The hard stuff was fine, but I think for me the Eagles were the style of the moment I liked, but I didn't collect their albums. Who I did collect was QUEEN and Freddie Mercury. It was rock but it was classical, it was pop but it had opera. It was an amazing music to drop upon a kid who was really bored of the loud crap, the pop that talked about stupid crap, and old people's crap. (For a purpose, I am writing of it all like I thought of it all as a kid. I do not still think this way).
I enjoyed the idea of KISS but less their music. I didn't like the more popular music. But, I did like the Eagles. But still, sorry for their wallets, never bought their albums.
1978 When I was 14-15 I understood the appeal of all sorts of music. But the band that changed it all for me was the CLASH. It was angry but had a rhythm and beat. It was smart but had a flavor that the rest of the world seemed to be upset by. I LIKED IT a lot. Joe Strummer especially but the band was rebellious for good reasons, it was almost hopeful rebels rather than senseless nihilism. I collected music, by then, and along with British rock, punk and such, I looooved Motown. It wasn't like there were rules about it, music was a way I could express myself, with the words of others. And I wanted to be a lyricist. But even then I was aware, I wasn't talented enough to do anything artistically.
1982 By the time I left for college, I knew exactly what I liked, and thought my taste would only deviate to include new great music in the genres I liked. I never thought I could evolve in taste, or even opinions. And for years that was true. But just as I took a long ass time getting through college, my long climb from provincialist or sectarian divides of music, Pop, rock, punk, alt, classical music, opera, were all shaken when I woke up. The Smiths changed me, the Waterboys changed me by speaking to me about my wife, without me knowing it, and so so much more, all cracked open my vault of taste.
1988 My marriage also changed me, and Peter Gabriel, Kate
Bush, Puccini, Orff, Wagner, Mozart, Rimsky-Korsakov, Tchaikovsky, and
Talking Heads were the soundtrack of my search for meaning, love and
purpose. Some of it had to do with my wife, but mostly, our search in
music form dovetailed together. And we took a moment for country, but I
loved the Mavericks and really tired of the rest of it. Until I
discovered Waylon, Willie, Johnny and Kris.
AND THEN...
I have much more that I'll address in the future, if I address more in the future. I hope to keep writing... but for
now all I can say, is that I am worried about the future, but not
fearful. The only thing I fear is large dogs who are angry, redheads who
are pissed off, and the consequences of human stupidity and the health
of the planet. I don't have as much hope for the planet as I do my physical being. And I have no hope for my physical being. So there you are.
But I hope you are happy and have a great future. Whatever this old fart thinks or feels.
SACRIFICIAL LAMB CLUB
Kim Cormack has written a multi part series of books, and did interviews with me, and she lives in a most beautiful part of the world, one that is now burning now with fires of horrible devastating hunger for land.
Her series of stories feature a clan of vampires, sort of, or beasts of legend that battle between beings who live young and die quickly... seemingly a blip upon the screen of reality. Then, only to find that eternity means something entirely different to those chosen for the battles between the clans and tribes. Love for an eternal being means something quite different than to a mortal.
But in this tale, eternal life has changed in meaning... In order to be with her chosen, she must allow her soul's self to be nude before her enemies and intimates, her flaws and all, while she is given the choice of love or death, life or loneliness, a solitude and pure emptiness. She must choose to be or allow others to make her a sacrifice for all of that form of eternity.
What will she do?
A KICKSTARTER OF NOTE
Interview 1, Interview 2
Here is a kickstarter that gets you an original version of Monsters! Monsters! a new wirebound edition, and more.
SUPPORT IT HERE
OTHER NOTES
My son and I went to an animal shelter as his little wild cat is growing mad without having a partner in crime, and he is about to enter the world of full time business, and life away from an apartment or dorm room. We went to the same shelter that my family went to when we started our new cat entries into our family in 2008. Crossroads Animal Shelter. I was in tears mostly, all these beautiful creatures, who are full of and in need of love just cracked my heart wide open.
Whatever my current health issues are, I know we won't get more cats unless I suddenly become rich and health issues deeply improve. But my current two are old, and if I die soon, that is fine, but I don't want to die after they pass. I thought though, how wonderful it would be to have a house full of love. So please check out Crossroads if you live nearby, or support their work with a donation, they are fantastic at what they do.
REVIEWS AND STUFF
FINALLY... I
can be found on Facebook, Twitter or through email
Alexanderness63@gmail.com. I accept hard copies, so when you inquire at
any of these places, I'll follow through by telling you my street
address.If you send hard copies for review I will try to always review them,
but if you prefer to send pdf or ebooks to my email, I will review these
at my discretion. I don't share my pdf/ebooks, so you can avoid worry
that I'd dispense them for free to others.
My Creative Blogs:
5k poem blog AlexNessPoetry.Blogspot.Com
Published works AlexNessPoetry.Blogspot.Com/2007/01/My-Work.html
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